I'm Sorry
by Princess Aneka
Summary: ok. This girll she kinda likes Kenshin.... tries to help him stop killing....yes i'm screwin with the whole plot... Muwahhhhhaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaa!lol...Enjoy and please review!x
1. Prolouge

Ok. I know you might end up getting very mad at me for messing with the plot of this story, but personally.... I Really do not care! This is after all my fic and no one else's. I love writing about Kenshin like no other person. I spend most of my time thinking about what it could have been like if Tomoe hadn't died. I think taking her out of the 'wife material' section, but keeping her in he 'revenge' section will make this a good story, but for those of you who don't understand why this story is being written... a few words from me.... I love Kenshin more than anything I know(besides God.) and knowing what has happened to him because of what others do to him pains me and leaves me sorrowful at times. I love nothing as great as I do him. Please read this and review. TY...Princess Aneka.


	2. Chapter One: Lessons to be Learned

Chapter One: Lessons to be Learned

There he sits. Lonely in his corner watching everyone as they talk. His food, it tastes like blood. The blood of those he killed. I pause before I knock on the door. I begin to question myself and the reason I'm here. Am I in the right? Should I warn him? Do I stop him? Can I stop him? Will my words get through before he reaches the point of no return? Should I let him meet Tomoe? Am I too late? I knock confident once more that I might be able to help him. I want to help this man. Who will be forever known as the Hitokiri Battousai. A man comes to answer it.

"Yes." He asks. I see him sitting in the corner and want to cry out. I want to help him so bad it hurts. The room glows from the fire. He's leaning against the wall looking lonely and forlorn. My heart beats faster. I take a deep breath before asking my question.

"May I come in to see Himura Kenshin?" I ask. A look of shock crosses his face. "I have things to discus with him. He needs to hear them." I say.

"Your name?" He asks. I look at him and raise an eyebrow.

"Yuri-Sumi" I answer. He looks at me more intently and sees my eyes flash. A fire has begun to build inside of me due to my needs.

"Himura. There's someone here for you." He finally calls to Kenshin. He looks up at me and sees the fire in my eyes. He gets up and walks to the door. I see that he is weary and when he reaches me I offer him my hand to help steady him.

"Yes Miss?" He says. I realize quite suddenly that he's only a year or two older than I. A boy who's been killing. He's so naïve. I think to myself.

"Kenshin I need to speak to you. Please. Can we talk in your corner?" I ask. He looks at me and I see his eyes are weary. I cry inside at what he's become. I knew he'd be handsome, but those eyes, they pierce my skin and search my very soul. He nods and I walk with him to his corner. I help him sit which causes him to blush. "What?" I ask.

"You help me as though I'm an old man when you know very well I'm only 18." He said quite softly. That voice is so innocent! I scream inside as tears continue to fall, but I do notice I've been helping him.

"You are weary. I imagine you don't eat much considering..." I let my thought linger in mid-air. He looks at me more intently and nods as if to confirm the unspoken. "Kenshin. How many months have you been this assassin?" I ask. Men from around the room turn at the word assassin. The man who answered the door moves away from the wall uneasily. I understand. They never knew. "He's not going to bite." I spit at them. They all move to rest their hands on their swords. "Kenshin. Please." I plead. He shakes his head not wanting to listen. "Kenshin Himura!" I say loudly. He looks at me sharply as I stand. "You who were born to a peasant family, and sold into to slavery at seven, buried the dead, you who has a big heart, you who wants to help everyone, you who wields the best sword technique, and you stoop this low! I thought you'd know better, but you were just a naïve boy. An 18 year old whose very life you won't care about! Why? Why? When you know that your sword decides who dies and who lives." I shout. He stands and slaps me across the face. "Do you think that's going to change this?" I toss at him. "I went to see your master. I've watched your every move. I've seen you kill countless and yet you don't care. Why Kenshin? Why!?" I scream.

"Just leave!" He screams back. I'm being harsh, but I can't help it. I have these emotions welling inside.

"I Can't Do That! I have to try and stop you, because you wouldn't listen to your master, because you will one day regret everything you've done here, in this time. You'll hurt yourself Kenshin. You'll hurt me. You've done nothing, but torment my dreams for years, but I didn't understand until three weeks ago. That was around the time you got that scar on your cheek." I've stopped screaming and start crying instead. Every man in the room is staring at this girl who seems to think she can stop the Hitokiri Battousai.

"Please leave." He pleads. I stifle a cry of anger.

"I'm not leaving. I'm staying right by your side until you stop this nonsense. You're going to be screaming inside yourself for a second try to repent form what you've done. Do you know how many people are husbandless, how many won't see their fathers again, or brothers, uncles, grandfathers? Those people's tears flow like the blood of all your VICTIMS! They had no way to protect themselves, because you had the superior sword technique! Kenshin please believe me, because with every man you killed a part of you died. Till only a cold heartless, soulless person remained. You kill it seems for pleasure! These men were victims, not people you had to kill." I sink to the floor unsure of what to do now. Wishing I could try this again. "Why?" I ask again. He moves to where he can kneel in front of me.

"Because. Because I couldn't stand having people in pain and the Hiten Mitsurugi Ryu is used to help people." He answers. I reach out and trace the scar on his cheek. The one I know will help him lose his soul. He sits completely on the floor a fire burning in his own eyes it mirrors the fire in mine.

"Please stop killing." I plead. He's reached out and cupped my cheek. I let him brush my tears away. Fresh ones will be spilling over soon.

"Who are you?" He asks captured by my words. I think he might be listening.

"I'm Yuri-Sumi. Just call me Yuri." I answer taking in a deep breath to steady myself. "So tell me Battousai what you've been up to . . . ah ah. From your point of view." I say when he tried to point out the obvious. "I want to know every bloody detail." He shakes his head and lies down with his head in my lap. He begins to tell me about the day he was sold into slavery.

"They came and got me, sold me to slavers, made me a slave. I was seven. My parents had died. I'll never fully remember their faces. Or the pain that event caused me. And what the next caused. And when Seijuro took me in. He made me change my name. He taught me the Hiten Mitsurugi Ryu. He was more than a Sensei though. He was a mother, a father and a best friend. I thank him for finding me and teaching me what he knew." He paused and I called for a blanket. A man brought me one.

"But Kenshin, you never finished your training. You have a little more to learn from your master." I say smoothing back his hair and covering him with the blanket. His sword leans against the wall. Lonely and forgotten. He nods and continues his story. I listen to him intently. Nodding when I need to and comforting when I can, but before he could finish his story he fell asleep. I listened to him breathe and let him sleep. I knew he would need it. If I was to get to him, get inside his head and teach him what he was doing wrong, maybe I could save him, and return him his soul. He couldn't have killed too many by this time. I lean down and kiss his forehead. He whimpers in his sleep and I lay beside him, ever so careful not to wake him. One man brings me two pillows. I place one under Kenshin's head and one under my own. He rolls over and clutches the front of my shirt. He's in a nightmare I guess. Gently I pull his hands away, but he soon puts them back. I cannot let him lay here like this. It's not right for him or me, but I have another side. Maybe it's a comfort. Maybe he'll feel better to feel someone's arms around him. I pull him closer and he opens one eye. I blush realizing I've awakened him.

"You don't have to worry about waking me. I'm kind of glad you did. I didn't like that nightmare." He whispers putting his arm around me.

"What was it about?" I ask knowing, because I caused the dream.

"All the men I've killed came to me and each killed me. Over and over. They all took turns to kill me. They wouldn't give me the chance to fight back." He whispers. His eyes mist with tears.

"Don't worry. They can't really do that." I whisper back.

"But if they could they would. Just to punish me. I never gave them the chance to fight back. I'm Heaven's Justice and what I'm doing is right. Isn't it?" He asks now quite unsure. I look at him noticing how weary he is. I shush him and tell him to go back to sleep. That we will talk about this in the morning. He sighs and snuggles close again. I smile inside hoping I've gotten to him. Hopping that what I've said to him will make him change, but I doubt it will. If his master tried to talk to him and tired to convince him what was right and he didn't listen what makes me think he will now? I can't answer even my own question. So I give up and fall asleep. The next morning I awaken to find just about everyone gone. Kenshin wakes up beside me and smiles.

"Thanks for the talk last night, but I don't know if it'll do any good. I have a job to do." He says. I sigh. This is going to take longer than I thought.

"Then let me fight beside you." I say. He shakes his head.

"I work alone." He answers.

"Well, then I guess I'll go get myself a bath in the creek. Oh and Kenshin, I'm not giving up that easily. You know I can be just as stubborn as you are." I saunter away and take my bath in the creek. Its deathly cold, but I welcome it knowing it'll calm some of my nerves.

"What do you mean you can be just as stubborn as me?" I hear behind me. I turn around in the water and cry out in shock. Kenshin is standing in front of me.

"You... turn around!" I yell at him splashing water on him. He chuckles and sticks out his tongue. Then he tells me to turn around and I do. I close my eyes knowing he's going to be getting in as well. I hear a splash and turn to see him come up out of the water wiping drops from his face. I swallow hard. "You are mean." I growl at him. He shakes his head and swims to the left.

"No, not mean, I'm cruel, evil, wicked, bad, and nasty, but ya know those are just some of my finer points." He says grinning. I splash him again. He splashes me back and swims a little closer.

"I guess you're right Kenshin." He's moved closer to me. Now mere inches from me. I blush and cross my arms over my chest. I see his hand reach out and cup my cheek, tilting my head upward to kiss me. I melt into his embrace, but suddenly push back embarrassed by my boldness. He blushes along with me.

"Yuri." He breathes kissing me again. I warm from head to toe. I struggling to regain my senses, but he makes mush of them. Finally he pulls away and I move back a little. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that." He says. I shake my head and smile at him suddenly cold. I pull myself out of the water and hurry to put on my clothes. I turn to see if he's going to follow, but he's back to that shy little boy. He's turned his back. So modest! I cry inside.

"It's ok. You can come out of the pool now." I say fully dressed. He looks at me and I know he wants me to turn around, but I shake my head.

"Why?" he asks.

"Because." I answer not giving any reason. He shrugs and stands there in the water slowly freezing. "I think you're gonna have to come out of there sooner or later Kenshin and I won't leave till you do." He rolls his eyes at me clearly annoyed. I think he must understand why. I have a will power, and I'm trying to get him to change anyway possible. Even if I become a shriveled old lady standing here, I'll wait, but I think he'll die of hypothermia before it actually happens. "I told you Kenshin. It doesn't matter how long I have to wait for you to change. I will and I'll press you till you do. I know you know what the word no means. So use it. Tell your boss no. I mean it Kenshin. Please. Listen with that stubborn brain of yours." I see the gears working in his head as he thinks about what I said. He swims to the edge of the shore and pulls himself out of the water. I avert my eyes as he puts on his clothes.

"I do as I am told Yuri, but I'll think about what you said. If it gets hard on me. I'll try what you suggested." He says, but his eyes deceive him. I know he won't consider it. So I'll have to put myself between him and his victim. Before he kills again. We walk into town so that I can shop for food. I don't think he's happy about it, but I've asked him to 'protect' me. He's looking at the toy tops. I've seen him with one and go over to look at them too.

"Must represent your lost childhood." I whisper in his ear. He stiffens. I've hit a nerve. He puts down the top and goes on to more 'manly' booths. I shake my head and wonder again if what I'm doing is totally right. Suddenly down the street a horse breaks lose from where he's tied up. He's heading toward Kenshin who's walking right in the middle of the street. "Kenshin!" I cry out he turns as I run and push him out of the street. Instead of hitting Kenshin the horse has stopped. I have it by the reins.

"Yuri are you ok?" He asks as a man comes up and yanks the reins out of my hand.

"What the hell are you doing lady?" The man yells at me pushing me to the ground. Kenshin is by my side and helping me up that instant.

"What do you think your doing pushing an innocent woman to the ground? She saved lives just now grabbing your horse's reins. So don't get mad at her." Kenshin says to the man. My ankle hurts so I lean on Kenshin's shoulder.

"What are you talking about? She tried to steal my horse." He said. Kenshin sat me gently to the ground and rested a hand on his sword.

"What did you say?" Kenshin asked. The man eyed him suspiciously and walked off with his horse in tow. "Don't worry he won't hurt you now" I hear, but through the burning pain I feel I can't hear much. Kenshin offers me assistance and insists I get to a doctor. I shake my head no and say I want to shop. He opens his mouth to protest, but I glare at him. His mouth closes; his protest swallowed. We walk on without a word as I select fabrics and things to make shirts for a few of the men who need new ones. While Kenshin isn't looking I buy a top that looks like his and some midnight blue fabric to make him a shirt. He needs one and badly. After awhile he asks if I'm ready to go. I nod my head and he takes me; with my many packages; to a restaurant. He requests a few more pillows for me to sit on, because of my ankle. I roll my eyes and wonder why he's suddenly protecting me. Doing his duty I think. We eat and talk. About the past, and Japan's future.

"You know Kenshin; this world you're helping to create will bring with it many things. One; a man who tries to hide his feelings, as he does now. Two; men who want to fight the peaceful Hitokiri Battousai, the man who created a world where rivers and oceans were blood, even the tears of loved ones." I say. He looks at me; hearing my words I think he might begin to understand what I am saying to him, but he shakes his head.

"The words of a seer. I shouldn't believe them; I won't." Then the subject changes "Are you done? We need to get back. I have a job to do tonight." He asks. I nod noting my failure. He moves to help my stand, but I hold up a hand to stay him.

"The words of a seer you say you shouldn't believe. So why help her?" I say getting up on my own. Pain shoots through my ankle to my leg. I set my jaw against it and head out of the restaurant with packages in tow. At the door I pay for my own meal. Kenshin tags behind paying for his meal. People stare at him as he stares at me. I stumble out of the door and fall in the street. My ankle I think is actually broken, but I won't give up. I pick myself off the ground along with my purchases and move on. It's slow going, but I don't think of the pain nor the stares of everyone as they watch Kenshin follow me like a puppy. His quilt registers on his face and he gets up the nerve to take my arm and help me. A woman yells at him for not helping me before. He takes the words of anger. The stabs they create. We leave the town and are on our way down the road when a wagon comes by.

"Please sir! Could you give us a ride?" Kenshin calls out. The man stops his horse and nods. The packages are set in the wagon and I reach to get on, but then I feel powerful hands pick me up around the waist and put me in. Jolts of electricity run through me and I shudder despite the heat. He's climbed in beside me and reaches to pull me next to him. I'm nervous about this young man. Who murders at night and is shyer than anything I know, and here he is helping me. Pulling me close. Comforting me from the pain. As we near the camp my friend calls to the driver to stop. He gets out and reaches to help me. The same jolts from earlier run through me and I squirm in his grip. He feels it too, but shoves it out of his mind. "What do we owe you?" Kenshin asked. The man said not a dime and moved on. I'm now in his arms, being carried like we've just been married. He takes me to the dojo he's in and sets me down. My ankle is swollen and purple/black.

"Heat some water and get some rags to put on it. Then you can get some more rags and wrap it in clothe till morning." I tell him. He nods and does as I ask. The others are back and watch Kenshin from a distance as he helps me. Laughter spreads through the group as Kenshin sees them. He blushes bright red. "I'll fix something in a minute if I have help." I say. The men shake their heads and each gets out knives to peal potatoes. One man gets a big pot to boil water for rice. There's the fish one is cooking. "I guess I get feed by men tonight." I say to Kenshin in barely a whisper. He nods and brings some potatoes for us to peal. He watches in wonder as my peel comes of in one long spiral. I see the awe in his gaze and help him. He laughs as he messes up the first potatoes. The second he gets half of the peel of before it breaks off and finally the third is almost as perfect as mine. The others come over for there 'lessons'. Joy has spread though the group with me there. Even Kenshin is cheery. Laughter bubbles up out of him and I smile in wonder. I think it's the first time he's laughed in awhile. And it's a true laugh. Not fake, but real. Soon though it dies down and everyone is busy cooking. I watch softly from the corner as their leader comes in. Kenshin looks up and nods. I want to yell at them not to do this, but I know they will not head my warnings. Finally my anger boils over and I cry out a NO! Kenshin looks in my direction. He sees me struggle to get up, but doesn't move to help. I clutch the wall and move toward them. "You will not have him do this. Not tonight. Not ever again." I say. I've reached them after quite a struggle. Kogoro Katsura looks at Kenshin and then at me.

"Who are you?" Katsura asks. I look him in the eye. My pain subsides as I think of what I must do.

"I'm Yuri-Sumi. You might have heard of me." I answer. His eyes turn cold.

"You're an enemy _spy_." He says coldly.

"Oh really. I guess you could say that, but after I found out about Kenshin I stopped that. I haven't done any of that in three years." I say.

"Hmmmmphhh."He answers. "You're a seer. You must have told them about him." I shake my head.

"No and I won't tell you why. I won't tell you who they were either. Just that I have to protect him. I have to. If I don't I might go insane. So if he has a mission tonight I go." I say.

"You can't." The guy says.

"Oh, but I can. You think I'm going to sit by while you destroy him. I can't let you do that. I...I...you have to have a better heart than that." I fling at him. I was about to foolishly say I loved him, but that wouldn't be good. Not at the moment.

"You are mistaken girl. He'sHeaven's Justice not yours." I'm told. My gaze meets his. "Go Kenshin." Kenshin looks at me and I know my eyes plead him not to leave. He leaves. Adrenaline shoots through me and I tear after him. Men run to stop me, but I push away from them.

"You can't do this. He's only a boy! He's an innocent boy!" I scream pushing at these guards.

"You don't get it girl. You never will" was my answer. I sink to the floor knowing it'll be too late. That scream will be lost in a pool of blood. The rain will fall tonight. Tears from the woman that man loves will turn to blood and I'll still cry. The men have left me alone to wallow in my tears. I take it as my opportunity to escape. Even with my sprained ankle (it wasn't broke thank goodness) I ran faster. I didn't know where to go. I only knew I had to find him and I did. In a cold deserted ally I dodge trash cans and baskets. I push Kenshin to the ground and pin him there.

"Don't do this please." I plead. Then Iizuka comes up behind me and pulls me off kicking and screaming. A sword is brought to my neck. "Please." I whisper. It's Kenshin's choice if I live or die. The man he's supposed to kill dead already. Iizuka killed him while I'd knocked over Kenshin. As a last resort I pull out of my pocket his look alike top. He sees it and a pained expression crosses his face.

"Put her down." He says.

"WHAT? But she should die!" Iizuka says.

"Put her down!" Kenshin orders. I'm thrown to the ground. He runs to my side and helps me up. "You ok?" He asks. I nod though my neck is bleeding ever so little. He sees it and shots Iizuka a dirty look. He then carries me to a little inn not far away. "We can stay here." He says knocking on the door. A lady answers and I see her dirty look. She thinks I'm his whore. I try to hide the laugh that bubbles up inside, but I can't. It comes out anyway. "Can we stay here till I can get my things? We're leaving tomorrow so you won't have to worry. Do you happen to have two rooms though?" She shakes her head.

"Only one. It's going to be a stormy night so the rooms are all but full." She answers. Kenshin nods and hands her the money for the room. She shows us where it is and tells us where the futon is and blankets.

"Thank-you." Kenshin says. He goes in and lays out the futon. I'm placed on it and told to go to sleep, but the thing is I can't.

"I guess you could say I don't sleep alone. Ever. There has always been someone to sleep with." I say. He raises an eyebrow. "Not in that way Kenshin." I say blushing knowing he thinks I might actually be a whore as well as a seer. He nods and climbs into bed with me making sure my ankle is well elevated and warm rags are still on it. I smile at how well he's treating me. His arms wrap around me loosely and I feel that familiar twinge of electricity. I clutch his hand and sleep. I don't know what the next morning will bring, but I hope it's not bad. I wake to sunshine and chirruping birds. The storm has passed and I smile. Kenshin walks in with a steamy bowl of water and rags. He sees me awake and smiles. "Did you sleep well?" I ask. He nods a little and sets the bowl down to begin wrapping my ankle again. The swelling has gone down and the bruises have turned brown.

"And did you sleep? That storm we had kept me up all night worried, but I'm thinking you slept. You moved around a lot I know that much." He chatters. I nod when he says I moved around. Of course I did. It was a wonderful dream. One I want to have a thousand times over!

"You could say I slept really well. After all, how many days do you end up in the same bed with a Manslayer?" I ask teasing him. He chuckles and shakes his head a slight blush creeping up his neck.

"So. The dream you had last night... what was it about?" He asked. I sit up blushing.

"It wasn't about anything Kenshin. Nothing important anyway." I answer. He looks at me and tear my eyes away. I change the subject fast. "Why did you let me stop you last night?" I ask instead. He shrugs his shoulders not sure himself. "Well, in that case I'd better get changed into something other than your shirt." I mutter. He nods gain and leaves the room. After the one brief encounter of kissing him, I don't know if I'll ever look at that mouth the same. I want to call him back and slowly undress for him, but that is not something I should be doing; considering we just met, and I wouldn't even begin to know how to do such things. I change and fold up my futon and blankets. I struggle in getting up and finally call Kenshin to help me. He comes in and immediately goes to my side. I accept the arm he offers.

"You are going back to the dojo where you found me at today. I have to go out in the market. And don't try and change my mind." He says. I nod and we walk the distance to their 'headquarters' as I call it.

"Kenshin, please, before you go could you help set me up an area outside so I can sit and not be inside the whole time you are gone?" I ask. He nods and puts a cushion outside by the pond so I can sit and be peaceful. "Kenshin why are you going to the market?" I ask after sitting.

"Because I need to talk with Katsura as well as with Iizuka. After all Iizuka was supposed to be watching me and making sure I didn't screw up. Which I did last night and I'm sure that Katsura will be mad at me because of it." He answered.

"Oh." I say glancing into his eyes. They look soulless from here. I reach out and tentatively caress his cheek with my fingers. A lone tear is falling down my cheek and I don't like it at all. "Do you have to go?" I ask wanting him to stay more than anything. I don't want him to go and I don't understand what I'm feeling. I'm not supposed to _feel_ anything. Not for a Manslayer. Not for him, but it's too tempting. It always has been. I'm drawn to those who kill, but with him it's a want that has me squirming and curious. What's to come out of it? Is it just what the others call lust or is it something else?

"I told you not to try and change my mind Yuri. I meant it." He says reaching out and caressing my own cheek. A few more tears slide down and he bends to gently kiss them away.

"Don't go." I whisper putting both hands on the sides of his face and kissing him. He fell to his knees returning the kiss. My head is reeling. My vision is blurring and all I can think of is him, and his kiss, the fact that I want to be with him forever, and even kill him at the same time. He pulls away resting his forehead against mine. He groans not wanting to go now, but he knows he needs to. I look into his eyes again and see his thoughts and the fire that is burning there. It's not a fire for killing, but a fire from desire. It scares me, because I've never seen that look, but I know what it is and what it means. "Please." I whisper. He pushes me over onto my back and falls beside me.

"I have to go Yuri. I have to." He says. I sit up on one elbow and look down at him. It seems I've been doing a lot of that lately.

"Stay with me." I say laying my head one his chest. I hear his heart beat and here his breathing. He's fighting his thoughts. He suddenly turns on me and pins me on my back.

"Do you realize if I stay here I'll slowly go insane from seeing you? Every time I kiss you, touch you, or look at you I get weird vibes. I've never felt them before, but they do such nice things to me. I wouldn't be able to sit and talk to you without looking at your mouth or your breasts. So I need to go. Unless you are willing to be in the same room with a lusting man." He says getting up and walking off. I sit up.

"Kenshin, don't leave me here please!" I call. He stops and turns back. "I am not going to be able to think at all today knowing what you just said to me!" I cry. He gets back down to my level and kisses me harder than before. Desire spikes through me and I cling to him. My hands find an entrance through his shirt. I can't help feeling what he has beneath it and when I do I hear him hiss.

"I told you." He growled. "This isn't a good thing. I mean it. I might not be able to go to my meeting if you keep this up." Instead of moving he keeps kissing me and begins his own exploration. His small hands, the ones I've seen wield a sword in my visions, are somewhat soft and smooth, but the left, the left is slightly rough from using his sword. I press closer to him using only my instincts. Suddenly he pulls off of me and rolls away regaining his breath. I can barely breathe due to his attack of my senses. I sit-up and grab a stick long enough to use as a walking stick. "Don't go." He whispers.

"Tell me what you would have done if you'd have kept using your hands like that." I order. He stands and backs a safe distance away.

"That I cannot tell you Yuri. Just watch what you say now." He answers turning and leaving. I pull out of my pocket a notebook. It's small and I know Tomoe has one too. I begin to write in it my thoughts as they come. I won't call him back this time. The events of today must fade from my memory. I must never show him what I truly feel. He must never know that because of my dreams all will change in his future. I plan to let him meet Tomoe, but how I'm not sure. Today I think he'll smell her perfume. I remember that dream all to well and wonder what it would be like to take her place so that he can be happy. At least for a while. Maybe he'll find peace with himself. Maybe Katsura will find someone else. I hope. Really I do. I can't think of another outcome. At least not this minute. My mind is still muddled from his passionate kiss and I thought he was a shy boy. It seems he has another side to himself. A logical side, but I've only seen it twice. Both were when he's kissed me, but he always goes back to stony-faced, shy boy Kenshin Himura. I know I'll always love him. I know these words won't make any sense if he reads them and I know that my life may have been a mistake. That what I'm doing isn't right in the least. I love him. I realize. Though when I'm not sure. Maybe there has always been a special place in my heart for him. Maybe he killed someone I knew, but the thing is I'll never know. It'll never show. The memories of this time, when the Tokugawa Shogunate falls, when the Choshu Clan loses Kenshin, and when the Shinsengumi crumbles, theses memories must be forgotten. They will be nothing, but ghosts to him. The Hitokiri Battousai. To Kenshin Himura or Kenshin-San to some, his life will turn towards repenting. Unless I don't let him go through it. Unless I don't let Tomoe die. I could let all the pieces fall into place, but then what would that make me? A seer, who's a 'whore', who's a spy, it would make me a failure. If I gave up on Kenshin, if I let him fall, I would be an utter failure to the world and to Japan. I finish writing in my book and put it away afraid someone might read my words. I'm afraid they would think me a traitor to them if they read my words.


	3. Chapter Two: Betrayal

1

Chapter Two: Betrayal

Tomoe stood at the edge of the market looking at some very fine cloth. The cloth was woven silk and sky blue. Time for a change in the attire. She thought hoping to find a pattern of cheery blossoms. They were a beautiful flower and would look wonderful on this fabric.

"Do you have any of this color with cherry blossoms on it?" She asked the merchant.

"My lady, you are in luck I have just that fabric, but I don't know if it will be enough for a kimono. If you will step back here, I can measure you." He said. Tomoe tried to hide her shock.

"Sir, do you have a female attendant?" She asked.

"Yes, let me go get her." He said. Tomoe nodded. She turned from the booth to look out in the street. People milled about looking at fresh produce, live chickens, fish, and rice. The few none peasant women looked at the fabrics and fans. The make-up and journals that were on sale. A young girl walked past her followed by a man. The girl was very pretty in her light pink kimono edged in black lace. She laughed at little children running. She commented on how pretty some of the ladies kimonos and fans were. She turned and stopped at the booth Tomoe was in.

"Hello." She said brightly.

"Hello" Tomoe said. It was then the man came back.

"My aid has left me for a few hours." He said sounding sorry.

"Oh. Ok. I can come back and she can find my measurements then." Tomoe said turning to leave.

"Miss." The girl said reaching out and putting a hand on her arm. Tomoe turned. "I could measure you for the man that way you can get the fabric you want." She said. The man looked from Tomoe to the girl and back to Tomoe.

"Alright. Then if you want some of this fabric I can measure you." Tomoe answered. The girl glanced at the fabrics and found a blood red one. It would look pretty edged in white and would look wonderful with a light pink sash.

"I like this one." The girl said. The man nodded and picked up both bolts of fabric taking them to a little screened in area.

"Here is the tape measurer." He said handing the tape measurer to Tomoe.

"I'm Yuri." The girl said.

"I'm Tomoe." Tomoe answered. If Yuri had a problem with Tomoe she hid it well.

"Kenshin you will stay out there. I will be back out in a little while." Yuri said. He nods meandering off. Tomoe gasps at what she sees. That man killed my betrothed! Why? Why did he have to take him from me? She thought. "What's wrong Tomoe?" Yuri asked. Tomoe looked at her.

"Nothing Yuri." She said. Yuri measured her and Tomoe did the same in kind to Yuri. "Nice to have met you." Tomoe said to Yuri as they paid for their purchases. Yuri added another thing to hers. A bolt of blue cloth to make Kenshin some shirts.

"Nice to have met you as well." Yuri replied smiling broadly and thinking Now where did he go? Tomoe walked on through the market looking at fans and umbrellas. She did find a pretty light blue one she would have loved to have, but it reminded her to much of Itsomoru's last gift to her. He'd given her a flower just like the ones on the umbrella and she didn't know if she could bear to see it. Walking on past she heard noise in the middle of the street. A young man and woman were in an argument with another man.

"Get away from her." Kenshin yelled hoping to distract the man with the horse. Yaruni, for that was the mans name, slapped the young girl across the face. "Stop now! She didn't do anything to you!" Kenshin cried.

"Shut up." Yaruni answered backhanding the red haired boy. The man picked the woman up by the neck chocking her. Kenshin lost his temper and reversed his sword drawing it and hitting the man across the backs of his knees. Yaruni dropped the young woman he had been strangling and fell to the ground. Kenshin sheathed his sword and went to her; to help her; she staggered and leaned into him. Kenshin turned to Yaruni.

"I told you to let her go." He said. Then turning back around he walked off with the girl leaning on him. Wow how noble Tomoe thought. But he didn't kill the man. Maybe he'll do so tonight. She thought slipping away and out of sight. She never heard the soft mutter of "White Plums" from the man who'd killed Itsomoru. The girl who was with him didn't even hear.

Tomoe lay on her futon wide awake. My love. I will always mourn the loss of you. You came here for me. During this time of struggle and you are no longer among us. I miss you darling She thought. A knock came upon door. She quickly pulled on a robe and went to open the screen.

"Little Brother!" Tomoe exclaimed as loudly as she dared.

"My beloved sister. I've missed you." He said.

"I've missed you too Enishi." She answered hugging him close to her.

"Tomoe." A cold voice said near them.

"Enishi go." Tomoe ordered.

"No." He said

"Did you find anything out?" Itsoharu Manaro asked.

"No." Tomoe lied. Well actually she had , but wasn't going to tell **_HIM_ ** about the girl who was with Kenshin.

"Really? One of my . . . other contacts told me he was with a young girl today. One just about his age. He attacked a man who'd hurt her. Now, he also said that you were there. Why have you told me none of this?" He demanded.

"Because she was of no importance." Tomoe answered.

"Oh really. He seemed to care for her. Now, what would your betrothed have wanted?" He asked.

"You're barking up the wrong tree Itsoharu." She answered. Turning away and shutting the screen.

"Sister." Enishi whispered.

"Yes little brother." Tomoe called letting him know she was alright.

"What would Itsomaru have wanted?" He asked. Tomoe sighed.

"Come here Enishi. Let me tell you exactly who he was. ." Enishi walked to her futon and sat down next to her. Things were getting complicated and fast. Tomoe began to explain to Enishi why Itsomaru had come in the first place. Why he hadn't wanted to come and the way that she had pleaded with him.

"Enishi he didn't have a lot of confidence in his sword. He knew he could protect, but with big time swordsmen he couldn't stand a chance. Especially against the man known as the Hitokiri Battousai. He's a ruthless killer mind you. Do not cross his path. Enishi Itsomaru loved me, but now I have to move on, but also I must claim revenge. That man who killed my beloved will lose what he holds dear to himself.." She said.

"But sister, would Itsomaru have wanted it?" Enishi asked.

"Itsomaru was hard to interpret sometimes Enishi. Have you heard the 'story' about the wound he caused?" She asked. Her brother shook his head.

"Well, the man who killed Itsomaru has a wound, a memory if you will, from that fight. Well, rumor has it that his scar still bleeds. Even though it has been many weeks since that attack. Actually it's not a rumor anymore. I did see him today. It was bleeding ever so little, but I'm not sure why." She explained.

"Maybe he's falling in love with that girl." Enishi offered. Tomoe smiled. Then good for him. Maybe she can change the way he sees life. Change the fact that he is this murderer. Oh I hope she does! She gasped.

"Tomoe; what's wrong?" Enishi asked. Have I gone soft on that man? After what he did to me and Itsomaru?! He should die, but that girl... what is her purpose? Is she doing the same thing I should try and do? Tomoe thought confusing herself even more.

"N... Nothing little brother. Nothing." She answered shivering. I cannot betray him! I have to stay true. Because of me. I cannot just not do anything. He was my everything! We were supposed to get married. Grow old together... Now he's gone and it seems I've betrayed him by letting my mind think Kenshin is doing right? She thought.

"Sister you are scaring me." Enishi said. She snapped out of her disturbing thoughts and looked at her little brother.

Enishi please. You must go." Tomoe said quickly folding up her futon to leave for the land lady. She figured it was the best she could do. Seeing as she was causing so much more trouble than most of the woman's customers.

"But sister." he said.

"But nothing. Go brother. Before he uses you to hurt me. I don't think I can lose someone else. Especially not you." Tomoe pleaded. Enishi blushed and hugged her tightly.

"I love you Tomoe. Don't forget that. Please; don't forget about me." He murmured from the folds of her robe. She smiled inside. He would always be such a good boy.

"I wouldn't dream of such a thing." She said trying to calm her nerves about as much as she was calming his.

"I love you too. More than you could think possible. Now go brother and be careful. Many evil things lurk in the night." Tomoe said softly watching him leave her room. Now.... to Itsomaru's grave. she thought changing quickly into her kimono. She stole out of the house quieter than a mouse. She knew she shouldn't be out. The twisted realms of the night could hold vultures and thieves. Men acting as though they were protecting you when what they really wanted was something no respectable woman should give them. Battousai would be in tonight. Which made it even more unsafe. As much as she hated to admit it she knew that he was a protector of the weak and downtrodden. Not much comfort for her though. He should be in taking care of Yuri. Seeing as she had such a bad ankle. I wonder what Kenshin would say if he knew who I was. Would he kill me because I am the only one who knows the truth? Would he let me live? What would he think to the fact that I know all about him and yet he knows nothing about me.... points for us I guess. She thought as she continued to walk in the crisp fall air. Taking in a deep breath she looked around When did I leave the cobbled streets of town? She asked herself. The moon had risen above her making the road more illuminated. Nothing should be able to attack her. Woods surrounded her now. Uh-oh she thought knowing something could jump out and attack her. She rested a hand on her small katana and continued walking. To her left suddenly a branch snapped. She whirled around and backed up. She only encountered warm meaty flesh. Arms seized her from behind. She was to scared to scream. Not even a whimper. A man chose that time to walk up to her.

"What do you think you are doing?" He asked.

"Ronin!" A voice barked. Tomoe began breathing hard. She couldn't stop it was as if she were hyperventilating.

"Taku." He said bowing.

"You do not scare the person we are kidnaping." The man named Taku said. The rest laughed.

"Shut-up Yukio!" then man named Ronin said to a plump male on Tomoe's left.

"All of you shut up and bring the girl to me." A voice growled in the darkness. I know that voice! Tomoe thought. The man behind her clamped a hand over her mouth and drug her to Itsoharu. Please let Enishi be ok. Don't let him be hurt. Please. Please. Please. Tomoe thought not bothering to struggle. They outnumbered her and she wouldn't have much of a chance with her measly weapon. "Ronin bring me a blindfold and gag. Kisho put her here next to me." the man ordered. The men sprung into action. Ronin tied a black cloth around her eyes and then another black cloth around her mouth to gag her. Please let Enishi be ok! She screamed at herself. Finally they tied her hands behind her back. "Move out." Itsoharu ordered picking her up and throwing her over his shoulder seconds before she fainted.


End file.
